Political Correctness

Too cute not to pass on:   Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, the following P.C. phrases will replace outdated language:   Kentuckians, Tenesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "Hillbillies."  You must now refer to them as "Appalachian-Americans." And, furthermore:   How to speak about women and be politically correct:   1.  She is not a "babe" or a "chick" - she is a "breasted American." 2.  She is not "easy" - she is "horizontally accessbile." 3.  She is not a "dumb blonde" - she is a "light-haired detour off the information superhighway." 4.  She has not "been around" - she is a "previously enjoyed companion." 5.  She does not "nag" you - she becomes "verbally repetitive." 6.  She is not a "two-bit hooker" - she is a "low cost provider."   How to speak about men and be politically correct: 1.  He does not have a "beer gut" - he has developed a "liquid grain storage facility." 2.  He is not a "bad dancer" - his is "overly caucasian." 3.  He does not "get lost all the time" - he "investigates alternative destinations." 4.  He is not "balding" - he is in "follicle regression." 5.  He does not act like a "total a**" - he develops a case of "rectal-cranial inversion." 6.  It's not his "crack" you see hanging out of his pants - it's "rear cleavage."