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read on Days Cafe that Jen loses patience with Jack because of his panic attacks and tries to tell him they’re through – that doesn’t sound like Jennifer. She doesn’t feel like dealing with it or helping him? Is it too hard? Didn’t she always complain about him that he always ran when things got hard? it just sounds kind of selfish and shallow of her
Jenn is probably the most supportive person on the show. How could she react this way??
I just wanna scream. I was hoping for a nice Christmas and so far it seems like it’ll be turmoil. We had ONE GOOD MONTH.
Jen should still be going through her own PTSD from having her heart ripped from her chest, (amazing recovery – not with the body but the mind-set there).
At least for the very fact that she shares a long history and he is the father of her children she should show him kindness, respect as a human being and some understanding of what he had to endure being kidnapped and tortured. I’m not saying Jennifer has to stay and love Jack if that’s not where her heart
is at (no pun intended), but she should be humane and care about what he went through.I took that to mean she looses patience with him because he refuses to get help and feels he can handle it on his own, which apparently he can’t.
That’s the way I was thinking too Deelan that she gets frustrated. That he won’t get help with his PTSD.
however, when one knows someone with a very serious problem, and if you wish to get them help, and you first try and try and then try some more, and no matter what you say or try to do and the serious problem will not be fixed with what you are doing and have tried in the past, then it’s time to try a different tactic.
Jennifer does the same thing "rants and raves at Jack after trying to understand him" it’s her M.O. – it doesn’t work with Jack, Jennifer – stop, back up, and go with a different and a positive solution to his problem. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink, but you can wait until he’s thirsty.
I remember saying that when Jack came back and Daniel was all up in his face yapping that Jennifer can take care of herself. Some people on this board thought it was good that Daniel was standing up for her. My point was that Jennifer didn’t need protection from Jack. She has always been able to challenge him and get what she wants on her own terms. I have always loved Jack and Jennifer. I just hope the writers start showing her strength of character rather than this meek crap.
You can’t help the person unless they want to be helped. The one thing they stress in Al-Anon is that you need to work on yourself, that nagging and hounding the alcoholic (after an intervention) is never successful.
Maybe the best thing for Jen to do (along with Abby) is stress to Jack just how much he needs therapy and he needs to let go of his pride and seek help if he ever wants to get better. Then she should step away and let him take the necessary action…or not, whatever he chooses. She can still be supportive of him but she should NOT dwell on it. And I think with these writers, she IS going to dwell on it, and dwell on it, and dwell on it.
I agree to a point. You eventually have to stop waiting and walk away as some people have to hit rock bottom before they’ll ask for help and losing the one person he came back for might just do that to him.
We’re dealing with the same type of thing with my niece who’s bipolar, a crack whore and alcoholic. Everytime someone’s there to help pick up the pieces when her life starts falling apart is another confirmation to her that she doesn’t have a problem. Don and I took ourselves out of her life last year and her parents finally decided not to allow her to ruin their lives and that of her 2 children, ages 6 & 9. After a DUI when nobody came to her rescue and bailed her out, a surgical procedure that had to be canceled because nobody would give her the $250 the doctor or hospital wanted as a deposit she’s cut back on her drinking and is getting into public housing. A step in the right direction but we all know if everyone comes running to her it will give her permission to go back to her previous ways. She now needs to get into counseling and on meds for her mental condition.
that my DH had PTSD after he returned the second time from Viet Nam. He started drinking very heavily and when he was drunk was the only time he’d talk about the war. He exhibited the same things Jack did. He had a lot of guilt because his captain, who was carrying his radio, stepped on a land mine and was killed and he blamed himself. Yet he would not get help. I even asked him to participate in group therapy to help out other guys who had problems but he saw through my ruse and refused that also.
He ultimately literally drank himself to death. His cause of death was throat cancer but the doctor said it was caused from the drinking and vomiting,well smoking didn’t help either.
Addiction is such an insidious sickness, and yes, I very much believe it’s a sickness.
if the person refuses the logical course of action and just bangs their head again the same old wall like Jack is doing, then just hanging on and waiting for something different to come out of the same old action would make Jenn a enabler for his bad decisions. What Jenn is doing is a positive solution: if Jack really wants their relationship to work he has to trust that Jenn wants what is best for him and that he needs to give therapy a try. If he will not try it, maybe he doesn’t really want Jenn as badly as he says.
My brother has two sons in their thirties who are still at home, one employed part time at a low wage job and the other not employed for 15 years. Their parents are afraid to try what you did with your neice. They beieve the "boys" will end up in the street, in trouble, and then in prison. So they have two six foot plus men who are more like alcoholic teenagers for as long as my brother and sister-in-law don’t have the courage you showed with your neice. Bless you. I plan to tell my brother about your success.
"A" student in high school, Jr. and Sr. class president, very smart kid. The second he graduated from h.s., he became a permanent bum. My parents didn’t raise him that way at all. My mother kowtowed and enabled him all his life because she thought the same thing, that he’d end up in jail, he did a few times, homeless – until she tracked him down and paid for several apartments to put a roof over his head. He got into all the bad stuff and married a woman just like him. At the time, my mother encouraged him to get married as that would set him "on the right path"…even though I kept telling her to let him sink or swim. Three kids later, that were "raised" by these people, I’m sure that the cycle has perpetuated itself. I don’t know, I haven’t had any contact other than what I’ve heard.
I cut my brother off out of my life when he was 28, after ten years, I figured he would always be that way. My Mother took him by the hand until she passed away at 83. A friend told me they read in the paper, that he’d passed away this past March, at 54 years old. Could I have changed him? No. No matter what. Leopards cannot change their spots. People are who they are, if they change, it will be them who changes themselves. Do I regret my actions? No. I don’t want to know people like that on the street, why would I want to know someone that has so much potential in life that intentionally throws it away just because they are in my blood line? It would be like trying to make EJ into a Saint, "ain’t" gonna happen.
after seeing the scenes they showed of jack in afghanistan, i can see why he is not ready to live it all again, and that is what he is saying, it is just too painful for him. eventually he will get help.
i read on soapoperadigest.com that dool is planning for jack and marlena to visit veterans in january for a show about the veterans. what those folks live through is horrible. my dad had ww2 flashbacks at night, even in his 80s. he could not watch the programs that came out during the late 1990s and early 2000s.
You are so right. My niece was a problem since she was little and her parents took her to therapy. A doctor at that time said she will only change when she wants to and that will only happen when she has to. So far there’s no reason for her to have to change. She’s married but left her husband when she was pregnant with the 6 year old. She meets guys who have no future but they’re the greatest things since sliced bread and going to take care of her. What happens is they all move into her parents house, they support them all then the the niece gets a bug up her butt, moves out and the guy leaves because nobody’s there to support him. Then she comes back home, parents take her in and she meets another guy and the cycle repeats. She even tried girls for a while and was caught having sex with her brother by his girlfriend (both were adopted so no blood there but still gross). Parents get on both of them, the niece admits she molested her brother when they were teens but the next day she says he forced himself on to her and they kick him out. She’s a manipulator and user and she seeks out people that tolerate her behavior and her parents by allowing it to happen are enabling her so she doesn’t HAVE to change and that means she doesn’t want to.
She was seeing a psychiatrist and diagnosed bipolar and with a personality disorder. She was put on meds but didn’t take them when she went out partying and her mom felt that was smart that she’s not mixing alcohol and meds. Problem is, she’s always partying and not taking the meds and even if she did take them during the week it takes time to build up in your system and time to get out of your system so she was never properly medicated. The alcohol and drugs accentuate the personality disorders and the bipolar. Don keps telling his sister that every dime they give her is like another shovel of dirt for her grave.
We’ve told them all, we love our niece and pray for the best for her but we will not tolerate her behavior and don’t want to be around it. When she’s ready to clean herself up we’ll be her biggest supporters and will give her all the help she needs but until then, stay away.
Her parents moved into a bigger house that they couldn’t afford due to all the people living in their house at a time when they should be downsizing. The only smart thing they’ve done is get legal custody of the 2 boys but the way she’s in and out of their lives is doing them so much harm. Their dad’s been in prison twice for drugs and the 9 year old knows his mom sleeps with every guy she meets. He’s starting to complain and be embarassed by the way she dresses and begs her not to come to meetings at school.
A couple of years ago she wanted to dress as a prostitute for Halloween and have him be her pimp.
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