Monday’s show – 4-29-13 …

1.  I’m going to have to give Will and Sami and E.J. a ‘dumb’ ‘thumb’ down if they ever thought they were fooling Stefano.  Nono had his feelers out on you three from the minute he walked in the room and found Sami and E.J. in the throes of engagement bliss.  Please, Stef, forgive them, for they NEVER know what they’re doing;

2.  Vargas, file a complaint with wardrobe.  They’re wearing out that ugly hooded jacket.  I know you’re a criminal, but a clean shave wouldn’t hurt your looks either — might even help!

3.  Gabbi – did it ever occur to you to follow Nick once in a while.  He does it all the time to Will.  Oh, I’m sorry, that would mean you would have to think on your own, so …. nevermind!

4.  Ciara – you are scaring me.  I love the way you are playing Patty McCormack from The Bad Seed, though.  You’re perfect for a remake!

5.  Sonny, Lucas and Sami scheming together to take down Nick is a major WIN.  Just hope they can pull this off, because I’m afraid after this baby storyline is over, it will be a cold day in hell before we ever see Bryan Dattilo again.

6.  Poor John Black … have you watched yourself in scenes next to Brady?  No disrespect, but it’s kinda’ hard to think Kristen would any longer care about you, especially since her hot new man’s lobotomy now has him thinking of ways to to give her a baby, AND he can now speak Chinese to boot.  Please, John, go home to Marlena and beg forgiveness and leave your 40-year old son alone.

8.  E.J., PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE cut the hair shorter, throw away the gel, grow back the stubble, don the horn-rimmed glasses, and put on some tight jeans and a button-down shirt, left outside the pants, please.  Warms my heart just thinkin’ about it.

8.  OMG – an Ally Horton sighting.  Great seeing that little cutie, but next time can we get at least a line or two of dialogue?  Okay, then, a couple of words, maybe?  A cough on her way out?  Ugh!

9.  Roman, just admit it to John — you’ll be at Doc’s front door before the ink on their divorce is dry.  And, no, you are not the bad guy here!  Anyone and everyone can simply walk in the DiMera’s mansion, with no need to knock, whether Harold is there to answer or not.

10. Why does Nick look like Mr. Rogers today??????

11. ….. OPEN THE FREAKIN’ ENVELOPE!!!!!