A Martinez

 I figured he would be Rafe’s long lost father.  Not a problem with him being Eve’s past husband.  But it seems unlikely that a picture or a name would have come up somewhere letting Rafe know that he was Eve’s ex.  this is really a stretch that he is related to both of them.

a kid would know if his father got married? Was he living on the moon or something? The only explanation I could accept is that it was maybe a one-night stand or something. Heck, maybe he doesn’t even know Paige existed.

 My father left when I was 7 years old. I had a couple of phone calls and then nothing.  When I was graduationg from high school 10 years later, he wrote me a letter that he wanted to get to know me.

We met for dinner where he introduced me to his wife of 8 years that I never knew existed.  So I can say that if is very possible. Especailly if someone left and you never heard from them again.  There are plenty of fathers who desert their families and never look back.

By the way I never heard from him again even though I had gotten married and had children, until he was on his death bed and wanted me to visit.  He told me that he had kept "tabs" on me and knew all about my family. He wanted to see me "one more time".

I chose not to go!

 Thank you Patti. It took a long time for me to talk about it, and I have told very few people. However, I guess because this board is  anonymous it is easier to share my story. Even though I have never physically met all of you, I feel close enough to explain my story.

In retrospect, I feel it was easier on me because I was never torn between spending holidays at 2 houses nor put in the middle of any fights. I see that conflict in my grandson’s life as he goes to his father’s (when he shows up to get him).

Ironically, my mother and sister DID go to visit him as he was dying and encouraged me to also visitl I just didn’t see the need to go. Maybe I didn’t want to give him a chance to ease his conscience.

Anyway, i am sure there are some ways I was affected, but I think that I have adjusted well. I was lucky to have a father figure in my uncle (mom’s brother). I have 5 kids and just had our 8 grandchild so I feel very fulfilled. 

 I have always believed that a person can be whatever they want by working hard and living right. I was lucky to have a wonderful mother who instilled morals and faith in God in me.  I went to college, graduate school and had a teaching career of 40 years. I worked everyday and raised 5 kids along with my husband of 41 years. 

Now I am retired and enjoy my grandkids.

I have no patience for people who say they had a bad childhood andcan’t help themselves.

I can honestly say I never met my father. He married my mother, got her pregnant (with me) then announced he
was going to England to be with his parents and demanded my mother go with him. She refused and he simply
walked out and never came back. He never gave child support and never tried to get in contact with me. I wonder
if he told his parents they were going to become grandparents. No one tried to ever write or call. I have no idea
if he is alive or dead. He would be the same age as my mother who is 86.
Do I miss never meeting my father? Not at all. I am an only child and so is my mother so we are all we have left.
Mother is in a nursing home with Alzheimer’s.
You cannot miss or grieve for something you never had…..