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I’m getting ready to move and have been at my new place many times, dropping things off, grounds keeping, etc.
My neighbor is driving me crazy. He’s one of those with a lot of time on his hands and every time he drives by (thankfully we’re far enough apart not our properties aren’t in view) and sees me out, he stops and talks. And talks. To the tune of an hour at a time!! It get so excessive he’s telling me long tales of relatives or friends that are totally boring. And why should I be at all interested in people I don’t know? Last time he was drawing a map on his car hood of some aunt of his – for absolutely no reason I can think of.
He’s a nice guy and been very helpful though, showing me my property boundaries and even mowing my lawn when I couldn’t get there.
But I am dreading seeing him. I do not want to be mean or hurt his feelings but this guy is as sociallly inept as any I’ve seen – and thick as a brick.
Please give me some stradegy to get through to him that I’m not hanging out for chitchat.he may be a valuable neighbor to have so don’t alienate him.
Sounds like you’re going to have to have a lot of excuses in your bag to pull out when needed…have to make a phone call, go to the store, take something out of the oven… If worse comes to worse you can always be honest and tell him as mich as you enjpy your chats, you just don’t have the time. He sounds like he may be lonely. Good luck!
so don’t think he’s lonely, but it’s a bit scary how he knows so many things about everyone in the neighborhood. He also can be a bit bullish about giving advice which I do not appreciate. I just know he’s going to stop every time he drives by and I’m outside a lot so hard to avoid him. And he’s not one of these people who would catch on when you keep giving excuses. It is really hard to get rid of him!
checking with some of your other new neighbors to determine without seeming like you’re complaining but more like inquiring about this guy. Maybe you’re not the only one who feels this way. He may, in fact, just be one of those nosey neighbors who, if he’s been there a long time, feels he has the right to know everyone else’s business. Sometimes you just have to say, ‘I’m sorry, but I just do not have the time to chat right now’ or something like, “Mr. (insert name), is there something I can help you with right now; otherwise, I really do have quite a bit to do, since I’m still settling in. Maybe we could talk some other time.” It might be better than trying to ‘duck’ him every time you walk to or from your house. If other neighbors are having the same problem with him as you seem to be, then at least you know it’s not just you who feels this way.
owned the place before me felt exactly the same way and she gave him the usual excuses and then decided just to try and avoid him. There are less than ten full-time residents in the neighborhood so he hasn’t got a lot to “target.”
I run into someone that likes to bend an ear and I’m in a hurry and with no time to talk. Even if he does have a family, sometimes seemingly people with family are the loneliest people as they’ve exhausted their family with “their ways”, so they try and reach out to others for a connection. Try for truthfulness and being forthcoming with him, explaining that you are a busy person with very limited time in your hectic days. He may not realize this as he seems to have a good deal of time on his hands to chitchat. Let him know that you appreciate all your new good neighbors however you don’t like to gossip or hear gossip about people. Also, let him know your time is very limited as you have a zillion and one things to do all the time. I wouldn’t give excuses (you can run out of those) – be kind yet truthful – let him know that you would be happy to chat when things “slow down” for you. Perhaps, he will get the hint soon.
“Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares”.So was down at my new place yesterday with a couple friends and we were putting up fencing. So I spy that familiar red truck and Mike pulls in to the drive and just moseys on up to where we’re involved in working. I would never intrude on someone I don’t know that well when they have guests!
I introduce him and while my friend Todd was sawing a board, Mike goes right up and starts “helping.” He then proceeds to tell us where best to place the fence, like why not under some trees for shade?
Are you kidding? No way this guy is lonely. He is just butting in with a certain lack of respect and no degree of social conduct It’s actually pretty nervy. I think we’ve all known people who love to gab and monopolize conversations but this Mike guy goes beyond that. I really don’t appreciate his two cents’ worth but what on earth do you say to someone without being rude? And when you ignore his advice he always comes back with, “I’m just saying…”
I really fear he is going to be an issue and I don’t want to be worrying about trying to avoid him whenever he passes by. No way to live.
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