Political Correctness

Too cute not to pass on:

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, the following P.C. phrases will replace outdated language:

Kentuckians, Tenesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "Hillbillies."  You must now refer to them as "Appalachian-Americans."

And, furthermore:

How to speak about women and be politically correct:

1.  She is not a "babe" or a "chick" – she is a "breasted American."

2.  She is not "easy" – she is "horizontally accessbile."

3.  She is not a "dumb blonde" – she is a "light-haired detour off the information superhighway."

4.  She has not "been around" – she is a "previously enjoyed companion."

5.  She does not "nag" you – she becomes "verbally repetitive."

6.  She is not a "two-bit hooker" – she is a "low cost provider."

How to speak about men and be politically correct:

1.  He does not have a "beer gut" – he has developed a "liquid grain storage facility."

2.  He is not a "bad dancer" – his is "overly caucasian."

3.  He does not "get lost all the time" – he "investigates alternative destinations."

4.  He is not "balding" – he is in "follicle regression."

5.  He does not act like a "total a**" – he develops a case of "rectal-cranial inversion."

6.  It’s not his "crack" you see hanging out of his pants – it’s "rear cleavage."